I hate when my phone dies and I'm not at home. →
Television: In the criminal justice system--
Me: SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN
I'm assuming the London Olympics will have...
me when i go out: i should've stayed home
me when i stay home: i should've gone out
me when i'm around people: i want to be alone
me when i'm alone: i want to be around people
me when i'm mean to people: i need to be nicer
me when i'm nice to people: i need to be meaner
me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude